Fixer vs listener, Mason twists, Apricots, and Emotional vulnerability
HALT on Hump day 7/30/25
HUNGRY
Here’s a snack I think people sleep on right now. Dried apricots. We’ve had them in our pantry for a while now, and I ignored them for years. My wife liked them. My kids liked them for a week. I never got into them.
Until maybe a month ago. I figured I’d give one a try. Delicious! Then I thought, well, these will be awful for me. So I turned the bag around. Here’s what I found.
The not as great stuff first. Dried fruits concentrate everything in a fruit, so they have relatively high calories compared to their weight. Nutrition info on the bag says 4 apricots = 100 calories.
Dried fruits also concentrate sugar in the fruit. Luckily, our apricots do not have any added sugars. Great.
The good news? Good source of fiber, potassium, calcium, iron, and vitamin E.
Here’s where I’m landing on these: great for a snack. I’m not eating a whole bag, but I’ll grab a couple between meals for a snack. I’ve probably been eating 5-7 a day when I crave something sweet.
There are worse ways to eat 200 calories in a day that don’t taste so good.
ANGRY
In a world where people define subjective personal attributes so widely, you will benefit from coming up with your own definitions. Think about how many different ways you could define success (or failure), strength, good, bad, and on and on.
This prompt helps with an emotion many people find challenging: emotional vulnerability.
My definition has certainly changed over time, and I bet it means something different to you than it does for me.
What does emotional vulnerability mean to you? How have you practiced it recently, and how did it go?
I like the sequencing of this prompt because you define your terms first, then you think about how you’ve put it into practice. Pairing the two in one session, and then examining the outcome, puts the whole thing in perspective for me.
LONELY
I think about a movie scene from 1992 almost weekly. It’s a scene from White Men Can’t Jump, the basketball movie **staring Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, and Rosie Perez. Lots of early 90s gold in here, but the scene I think about has nothing to do with basketball.
Woody Harrelson’s character and Rosie Perez’s character date in the movie, and this scene happens while they lay in bed together. Rosie says, “I’m thirsty.”
Wanting to help his girlfriend, Woody offers to get her a glass of water. Rosie freaks out. She doesn’t want him to get her some water.
As a young man, I sided with Woody. This seems like an easy fix. Thirsty? Drink some water. Couldn’t be more simple.
Now? I get her point. She wants him to listen and empathize. He can’t.
Listening to someone talk about troubles can be difficult. When we’re on the other side, though? When we’re the ones who have something on our chests, we like having space to get it all out.
But sometimes we are actively seeking out advice in times of trouble.
Here’s a simple question I learned and put to use countless times over the last few years:
Do you want me to be a listener or a fixer right now?
It immediately assigns me a role. If they want a listener, then I shut my mouth, keep my opinions to myself, and do a lot of nodding.
I do many of the same things when I’m a fixer, but finish with some advice or my take on the situation.
Not only does it assign me a role, but it also puts my counterpart at ease. Double win.
PS: White Men Can’t Jump is worth a watch. It’s smarter than it seems on the surface.
TIRED
I end half of my ab exercises with Mason Twists (sit down, legs off the ground with calves parallel to the ground, hands clasped in front of the chest, and then twist to touch the ground on side then the next with legs still in the air).
Now that I’m stronger in my core and have good form, I’ve started adding weights about half of the time and doing slow reps. I’m talking a snail’s pace. I try to take 5 seconds per rep with the weight.
It’s a completely different experience than doing them faster and without weights. I do many fewer reps. Without weights I’ll do 50 on each side.
With weight? Maybe 20. But they are hard and I shake. It’s meant to give me better control and build strength as opposed to improving stamina.
At first I used a 5 lb weight. Now I use 10-12 lb. I tried 20, but I couldn’t keep good form so I grabbed a lighter weight. It’s crucial to have proper form to avoid injury to the back with this one.
Thank you for reading. If you liked something in here, send it to a friend. There’s a good chance they will smile, I’ll definitely smile, and I bet you will, too. Trifecta!